I choose to believe in myself..

U ask me to have more confidence in euu...

U thank me for being there and maybe its true.. U are worried tt misery is the onli way and that my heart will go dead for years..

=_=

Its been quite sometime since i've updated.. Even my chatbox has already poof without my knowledge.. How nice.. lol.. Anyway its 2008!~~ Its a brand new year and guess what? I spent my New Year's Eve at york hotel.. Yes no doubts i'm working haha.. They have their own little countdown as well. So cute! The staff would all wear caps and blow boopers and dum their way arnd york hotel one round.. Well, even though there are no guests arnd this year but then... As the chinese saying goes.. "Zi De Qi Le" ~

Anyway life... Hasn't been a sail for me recently.. Esp in the aspect of relationships.. SighZ... Well, for one thing, ML has been err... Haunting me? Well, no matter how many times i say he still doesnt gettit that i dun feel anything now.... For a period of time, one day its A, one day its B another day its back to story A.. Constant calls and sms... I need peace and quiet sometimes.. To sort out my own things... SighZ... Loving someone is not to haf possession, but is to leave space and let the person free.. Sometimes.. Somethings between the things he heard that he know will make mi LM, he dun have to tell me.. Even though eventually its up to me to decipher and believe in my own point of view... Anyway even if i know or duno it still doesn't affect me that much anyway cos in any sense... He's not the guy that i am looking for right now.. SighZ..

Anyway imma counting down once again this month to 24th.. Kinda got a feeling that it may be the final time.. Low chance of getting postponed again bah.. I really really hate the feeling of like having my heart dug out.. Both from the sadness i see from his parents eyes and also from himself.. And of cos.. Myself.. Its been quite sometime since i feel this kinda sting in my heart.. I duno whether its partially cos of sympathy or becos i feel something else..

After all these months i wanna thank him here for the memories and the care and concern that he has shown for me all the while.. All the naggings, all the hugs and kisses and all the stuff that he has gotten for me. Sometimes its not the big big actions that a girl needs to feel warm at heart.. Sometimes its the little actions that count even more.. It doesn't matter if we get together anot.. Having the best of memories and having the best of it all is already enough for both of us.. Anyway Liking does not mean having to be together.. His heart is not settled and currently with the case on hand.. We both know that it will only lead to more misery for both of us. Eventually him cos i'll be the one outside and the future is full of the unknowns.. However.. Have to admit that i am kinda getting sadder as the days goes by.. Even though i know it might not be worth it and stuff.. But its not something tt one can really control.

To Him: Sorry that when euu feel so stress, sad and miserable now it seems like there is nothing much i can be of help.. The only thing i can constantly tell u is that if u need a listening ear i'll be around. Thank u for the bracelet. When euu are nt arnd, dun worry, i will take gd care of myself.. I'll bring an umbrella arnd, eat breakfast and not go home so late everyday.... Even though euu do things to make mi angry and sad on new year's eve when euu relapsed, but then everyone is supporting euu, so dun give up on urself yah.. Dun worry when u come out i'm sure we all friends will still be arnd waiting for u. Thank you for the memorable half year and i'll never forget u. = )